Exploring Intentional Dating
Dating can be an exciting but a challenging venture, especially in today's fast-paced world. Intentional dating is a mindful approach to forming meaningful connections and relationships. It involves purposefully focusing on quality over quantity.
Intentional dating is just that, dating with a purpose and an end goal in mind. By reflecting on your thoughts and asking internal questions you can identify and understand your desires and objectives better. Where do you see your future? What is apart of your daily lifestyle? All questions that are apart of intentional dating that help you understand your motivations and relational desires better. You may be saying well I’ve asked those questions, but did you listen? More often than not a person reveals themselves and we choose to blindly listen to what they are communicating. Either in hopes of changing their mind down the line, changing our own mind down the line (potentially dismissing our values) or not having set standards or intentions for yourself. For whichever reason, understand that the driving force for blind listening is a lack of value in your investment. Yes, dating is an investment. An investment of your time, emotions, mind and spirit. Intentionality is rooted in self-awareness, boundaries, and an established sense of self. When intentionally dating it becomes easier to weed through potential suitors and play-mates because there is a set standard applied to your mental focus as well as your emotional focus while actively dating.
While intentional dating provides a roadmap for forming meaningful connections, it's important to approach each relationship with an open heart and a willingness to embrace the journey, regardless of the outcome.
“Remember, an investment in yourself is an effort to benefit others”
Frameworks for intentional dating.
Why a sense of self is important?
To simply put it, when you know who you are, you also know where you belong. This means that you know who to entertain or invest time in because you’re aware of who and what compliments you. This is not an idea to think less of others but to understand who compliments you as a whole. When thinking of your sense of self and identity consider your mind, emotions and religious beliefs. These fundamental aspects form the very framework of who you are.
Knowing your mind.
Who are you mentally, and how does your mind work? Exploring the inner workings of our minds can reveal the complexities and nuances that shape our unique identity and cognitive process. What are things that catch your attention intellectually? What are things that live rent free in your mind or reoccurring thoughts? This is important because if unveils a roadmap to where we find ourselves. A dangerous trap is not knowing the inner workings of your mind and leaving it open for someone to explore it before you do.
Emotional health.
Your emotional state is just as important as your mental state. Who are you emotionally? Emotional understanding plays a significant role in how you connect with others. Exploring how you interact with your emotions and identify emotional needs and availability is a crucial step in developing self-awareness and healthier relationships. Understanding yourself better through self-exploration and self-reflection allows you to not only gain insight into your own identity, but also to gauge the depth of your emotional compatibility with others. Acknowledging that not everyone will resonate with you on an emotional level is a crucial aspect of intentional dating.
Spiritual influence.
Your spiritual state might be the most important, simply because it’s typically the foundation or system in which a individual operates from. In sum, who or what governs you? Is it religion, science, philosophy, etc. I’ll speak in terms of religion/spirituality specifically Christianity. How does your following of Jesus affect who you are and influence your life’s choices? What does it encourage or discourage? What are you called to do because of your faith? Does your belief significantly influence your mental state, playing a critical role in implementing faith, shaping your worldview, and determining what you choose to acknowledge as present or future reality? Are you open to a partner that is devoted to other life principles that contradicts or differs from your own? How committed/devoted are you to what governs you? There are varying answers to these questions that are influenced by different guiding principles; therefore it’s crucial to know what’s important to you as well as the level of importance it has in your life.
“To simply put it, when you know who you are, you also know where you belong. ”
Finding the "right" partner ultimately comes down to you and your unique values, desires, and boundaries. Your individual journey in discovering a compatible partner is a personal process that requires self-awareness and an understanding of what you truly seek in a relationship and within yourself.